I feel love!

Talking about our feelings is usually seen as ‘touchy feely’ nonsense (surprisingly!) and is often something we try not to think about too much – or even more often – do our best to block out (usually with a glass of wine or a couple of choccie biscuits!).

However to bring true love into our lives we need to get real about how we feel and get in touch with our feelings.

This doesn’t mean we need to wear our hearts on our sleeve but we do need to stop fooling ourselves and ignoring these negative emotions. Your ability to feel your feelings correlates directly with your ability to fall in love – it’s also a sign of emotional maturity but that’s a whole new subject.  Let’s take the example of anger.  Anger is actually an ‘acting out’ emotion where we get lost in our reaction to whatever happened. Once we calm down we will often then go on to sooth ourselves with wine or biscuits. Thinking about the last time you were angry – what were you actually angry about? NOT the person or the situation – but what was the feeling underneath the anger? Usually, when we really take the time to tune into the anger, we discover that it is rejection, or jealousy, or insignificance, or our old friend ‘not good enough’ that is causing us to feel angry, the situation or the person is just the catalyst. Once we understand that its one of these deeper emotions that is really the issue we can begin to deal with it.

As we begin to tune in with how we feel in any particular situation, we become more self aware. As we increase our self awareness, so we can relate better to others, instead of going into our usual routine of “it’s all their fault” (or reaching for that glass of wine!).

Mindfulness can teach us to allow ourselves to experience our negative feelings and find acceptance for who we are – the good and the bad. By doing this, we take the sting out of the negativity and start to release the power it has over us.

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